Orchestragraphicality (transcript)
(Squidward gets into chairs, turns on TV and screams). Squidward: Oh my, got to get a hold of myself, I--ahhhh!!! Seuss the Qatar's Lord on TV: And that was The Atomic Rock Shadow in Low E Minor, Rock it! (TV screen shatters) Squidward: Oh great, I can do better than that! ---- Squilliam: A one, a two, a one, two, three! (Squilliam's band plays The Blue Danube with Squidward walking past him) Squidward: Who put him on this planet? Psssst. Squilliam: (to Squidward) I heard that! ---- DJ Coricoral on the radio: ''And here is the hit album My Sunken and Shrunken Socks--'' (Squidward turns radio off) Squidward: Does any know how to play music anymore? All it is is show-off, and rock! Except for the Squidstones, little Trebels and Clam-Clam were singing, so cute. But I'm going to be the best man in the world! SpongeBob: Squidward, you...uh, according to this best musician list, you're #10067535678905432, only being followed by one person, Patrick, and if he wasn't here, you would be last. But don't fret, I'm only 12000 places in front of you. Squidward: My dork of a neighbor beat me? SpongeBob: Yes. Squilliam is first and besides me is Freckled Boy from Rock Bottom and Gary. Squidward: I'm a loser. SpongeBob: You're not. Squidward: I am. SpongeBob: True. But you can change that somehow. Squidward: Wait! I've got a...what's the word for it?... SpongeBob: Fantabulastical? Squidward: Right! I've got a fantabulabulastical-sorta idea! Oh yeah! ---- Squidward: Now band, stop the chitter-chatter cooked-on-platter thing and listen to me. Patrick, I want you to play the keyboard. Patrick: Yes sir! Squidward: SpongeBob, trombone! SpongeBob: Yes, Leg-no-toe! Ha! Making fun of legato. Squidward: Okay....Everyone else, you're places! And together, we're Orchestragraphicality! (Confetti comes flying out of nowhere) SpongeBob: What does that mean? Patrick: A piece of cheese? Beltruce: A clambonie? Fish #1: The study of orchestras? Squidward: No. It's the name of our band. It's not like your name means anything. Like SpongeBob's, his name means n-- SpongeBob: I'm a sponge, my nickname's Bob, I love squares, I wear pants, that's how I got my name. Squidward: Alright, forget about the name! Just get on with the playing. ---- Beltruce: A one, two, one, two, three, four.... (Band plays Suction Cup Symphony roughly when Patrick plays checkers) Squidward: Patrick! Patrick: I'm playing! It's just that I'm losing Squidward: Dumbbell! Patrick; I heard that! Squidward: Other than that, you were horrible. But, my skill can rub off on you. Everybody: Good. Squidward: Now if Squilliam can give up... Squilliam: I heard that! Squidward: ...we can be the best band in Bikini Bottom! Everybody: Yay! ---- SpongeBob: So...I just play what I know? Squidward: Pretty much. And...go! (Plays some sour notes on trombone) SpongeBob: How'd I do? Squidward: Good....Oh my gosh, that was horrible!... SpongeBob: I heard that! Squidward: Uh. SpongeBob: Now, where's my sheets? Squidward: By that performance, you won't even be getting one note. SpongeBob: Please, please, please! I want to be in your band! Squidward: Alright. But let me check on the others. (Squidward walks to other band players) Squidward: Now to check the---- HOLY SHRIMP! (Squidward sees band fighting) Squidward: Stop! Or I'll kick you out! Everybody: We heard that! Squidward: Now, I've got to run because of my shame, get the day off, I'm a failure. Everybody: Hooray! SpongeBob: Not hooray. He stood up for us, and we failed him. Squidward: Just to make sure you've been trying to help me overnight, come tomorrow. SpongeBob: We'll stay here and practise, right? Everybody: Yes. (Squidward walks out of room) SpongeBob: Yeah! Beltruce: A one, at two, a one, two, three... (Band plays The Can-Can prefectly while Beltruce in a skirt does the dance) Time Card: One miracle later... Squidward: Okay, let us see how well you did. (Everyone plays horribly) Squidward: Okay, you were horrible. Everybody: We heard that! Squidward: You are all kicked out, guess one of you can make another CD or something. (Throws empty CD to band) Squidward: Use it. I'm a failure. SpongeBob: Wait a second.... (Band plays "Russian Dance" perfectly on radio.) THE END Category:Transcripts